Of Course, It Always Turns Out Like This
by xxYou-shall-be-my-Squishyxx
Summary: Okay look here Akatsuki. You're not gonna get any information about Naruto out of me! And I don't care if you're cunning! And strong..and ruthless...and cold blooded murders...Yeah. We're screwed.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! New story! Don't worry I'm still writing LCB but i really wanted to write this one too! Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimers: Only own the OC's**

**

* * *

**

My dear readers, my life is pretty normal. I've never been kidnapped, mugged, or sold by pirates. No nothing extraordinary has happened to me. Well, until now that is. Then, again extraordinary is usually used in a positive context. Now I don't know whether to judge what happened as negative, I just know it's not…positive. I mean you wouldn't really call staring into the blood red eyes of a killer positive, would you? But of course you wouldn't know. Not because you're mentally inadequate, no of course not, I wouldn't bother you with this story then. The reason you cannot confidently answer that question is because…

*Drum Rolllll*

You have no clue what I'm talking about.

Let's take a second to catch you guys up.

"Quinn Evelyn-Rose Trellis! Stop being a narutard for a second and help me find a snack!"

"Shhh! That's supposed to be a secret!"

Introduction time! I am, said Quinn Trellis, I'm fifteen years old, and have an athlete's figure (I do volleyball, track, and gymnastics). I have straight pale blond hair (is often compared to the color of Luna Lovegood's…Look her up if you're one of the poor, poor souls that knows her not), a long bang (like Deidara's) covers one of my purple eyes (crazy, huh.), two piercings on the top of my ear and one in the lobe, silver studs occupying each whole.

Now normally I wouldn't bore you with the my outfit but you have to know what I was wearing during my later…expedition.

I was wearing a white tank with a black crossbones skull on it, black ripped black skinny jeans, chucks, and one of those hoodies that you zip up to your head so it makes a skeleton!

And yes readers, you heard her correctly! I'm a narutard. Yay! Ha-ha. I read the fanfiction, and watch the anime, but I never buy the manga just in case the Akatsuki ever show up in my house. I wouldn't want them finding it…Yeah, I know, weird reason. Speaking of the Akatsuki, I love me some akatsuki! They are totally kickass! I don't have a crush on any of the members per say, but they are all badass especially-

"Earth to Quinn!"

"Ahhh!" I screamed jumping back on my bed away from the emerald green eyes that were all up in my grill.

"Personal space is essential to a coexisting society."

"That's not what they say in China."

And that folks, were the wise words of my awesome black haired, emerald eyed bestest friend ever Bria Lee. She is wearing a white fitted tee that says "My shirt is white! Except for the words… But they would be too! But I want you to see em…" and black short shorts, hoops, and knee-length chucks. Her hair was tied in a low ponytail.

She's the only person on the planet that know I'm a narutard. She plops down beside me.

"Watcha watchin?"

"Look at the TV screen."

She sticks out her tongue.

"Blihblah!"

She looks at the screen and lets out an exasperated sigh.

And I will kindly translate her next sentence.

"The aka-what-their-faces (akatsuki) are looking for the tree assassin people (leaf ninjas) so that they can find Nuntuki (Naruto) and extract his inner witch (kyuubi). They are doing so by jumping around (tree jumping) and using their blue powers (chakra)."

Have I mentioned she's the exact opposite of a narutard.

"You know," She continues, "I think-"

"Don't do that anymore."

"Oi!-"

It's then that the TV suddenly decided to become all… scribbly.

"Oh darn," I sigh dejectedly.

"Don't worry, I'll just hit it," Bria stated calmly as she walked towards the TV.

"Don't! We'll get sucked into the Narutoverse!"

She slowly turned around to look at me.

"…Will we now?" she says her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Totes. I just read a fanfic about it on my kindle."

…cricket…..cricket…..

"Huh. Really."

She turns around and bangs the TV.

Suddenly an enormous light burst from the TV, so blindingly bright I had to clench my eyes shut. When I opened my eyes, I was staring into…

Two emerald green ones.

"Personal space is essential to a coexisting society," I say as I stand up and walk around to stand in front of my narutoless (Narutoless- without Naruto; the act or state of knowing nothing about the narutoverse. Antonym: narutard) friend, paying no mind to the fact that beneath me was grass and dirt.

She smirks.

"That's not what they say in-"

She suddenly stops and her smirk crumples into an expression of sheer…shock?

"You know you can't stop dramatically and have your face like that. It's quite unsettle-"

"You were right," She whispered cutting me off.

"Oi, Bria what the-"

It was then that I suddenly noticed something important.

We WERE NOT in my room.

We WERE in a vast forest.

It was then that I also realized what Bria was talking about.

'_She thinks we're in the narutoverse? But why…'_

I slowly turn around. And there standing across the grassy opening is none other than

Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigake.

Holy-

"Who are you people? And…and where the hell are we?"  
I cringe internally at my friend's crude behavior. Leave it to Bria to run off her mouth when she doesn't know who she's dealing with. Kisame's eye twitched.

I didn't take that as a good sign.

I whisper to my friend even though I knew they could hear me…They are ninjas after all.

"That's Itachi Uchiha and Kisame of the Akatsuki, the group hunting the tailed beasts in order to obtain the power to create a Utopia. Itachi is a genius. He killed his clan leaving behind his little brother Sasuke and Kisame is quite powerful, he was one of the seven swordsmen of the mist."

I take a deep breath. Geez, I sounded like one of those bing commercials.

Bria nods her head.

"Okay so who's Sasuke?"

I saw Itachi's head move a little, obviously wanting to hear my response.

I inwardly smirk.

"Some revenge-crazed weirdo…Nobody special."

I know he's probably gonna hate me cause we all know Itachi loves his otouto, but I just had to.

"Oh…wait, so this genius and super strong guy are part of the aka-what-their-faces that are after Nuntuki?"

I roll my eyes, momentarily forgetting about the Akatsuki, and glare at my friend.

"For the love of man, his name is Na-Ru-To!"

She rolls and turns to the Akatsuki.

"Haven't you guys been after Naruto for like…ever? Geez you guys suck-"

"Bria!"  
"What! It's the truth!"  
" Well, I mean, you could've said it in a nicer way!"

What am I supposed to say? 'Hello there kind gentlemen. I deeply apologize for saying this but you guys suck…and I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"Shut your face."

"Shut my-"

"Enough."

Me and Bria both stop to face the speaker.

Itachi.

He looks kinda annoyed…

' _Oh great! There must be a way to fix this...or make it a little better anyway…'_

"You are right."

He looks away from Bria and starts staring at me with a small, and when I say small I mean miniscule, look of interest. It was quite intimidating, but the first rule of ending up in the Naruto world in front of Itachi and Kisame is to play it cool. And who invented this rule? I did! Have you ever noticed that fanfics always make the girl character some push-over? Well it always ends well, but it's over a long period time. Maybe…just maybe… if I do the opposite…

"Enough is enough," I continued, "My friend and I have wasted much of your time arguing with you and amongst ourselves, so without further adieu, we will take our leave-"

"I think not."

I narrow my eyes, slightly annoyed.

Of course it always-

"You'll be coming with us."

-turns out like this.

* * *

**A/N: Didja like? :) Lemme know! Review**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: And here it is folks the actual Chapter 2! Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer. If i owned Naruto, Hinata would kick more ass and probably end up getting paired with Pein or Itachi xD**

**

* * *

**

After Itachi basically tells us we're not going anywhere, we all just kinda silently…stand there.

But of course how long can silence last when Bria is around?

"Well gosh hotshot, what do you want us to do then?"

Not very long at all.

Itachi simply stares at her.

"We need to take you to our leader."

And it is at this time Bria bursts with laughter.

"Hahahahaha! Take…take us to your leader? What..hahaha…what is this, Star Trek?"

"Bria shut your face," I say half heartedly with a sigh.

Itachi looks at me suddenly, probably thrown off by my calm demeanor.

Calm.

Yeah right!I mean I'm not surprised, how can you say you read fanfiction if you haven't already heard of the overkilled "meet the akatsuki and they take you to the base for 'knowing too much'" situation? But I do feel stupid retarded. Yeah I feel stupid retarded for following the trend of blabbering my knowledge too much! Didn't I learn anything from fanfiction? Well, the best way to salvage the situation now is to-

"Take us where?"

Oh right. Bria.

At this point Kisame spoke up.

"Are you hard of hearing or something?"

"No! But what makes you think we're gonna let you takes anywhere?"

Kisame smirks.

"And what exactly is going to stop us?"

Bria smirks as well and turns to look at-

"Not what, who."

Me.

What. The. Fuck.

"My friend here is a black belt in almost all forms of martial arts, is extremely strong, smart , fast, and agile, and she isn't too hard on the eyes either-"

"Bria!"

"What? I just finished complimenting you!"

It sounded like she was trying to sell me….and did she really just use the word agile?

"Did you really just use the word-"

"So basically," she cut me off continuing to talk to Kisame, "both of you combined are no match for this girl right here," she finishes pushing me forward.

I look to see an impassive Itachi and a smirking Kisame staring at Bria.

"Really now?"

"Heck-"

"No," I state simply reverting back to my carefree, nonchalant façade.

They all turned to look at me.

"That was all an elaborate lie."

Kisame grunted and Itachi just stared at me.

"Enough of this gibberish, let's go," is all he said.

We had taken a break from our so far silent expedition due to Bria's fatigue with her excuse of "shut up, you're used to it you track bum". And her and me were tied to trees after Bria's stupid comment about running off with the lame excuse of "geez talk about no sense of humor". I told her it was a stupid joke.

Itachi and Kisame were sitting on the grass leaning against separate trees.

"I'll go refill our water," Kisame sighed while getting up and leaving. Itachi just reclosed his eyes. I chose this time to attempt to fill Bria in.

"Oi Bria," I whispered without looking at her.

She looked at me.

"No idiot look straight!"

"Well excuse me for trying to make eye contact with the person who is speaking to me," she mutters turning to face forward.

I can't help but chuckle a bit. Bria is so weird… Haha that's why I love her.

"Anyways I'm gonna need you to do me a tiny favor."

"What?"

"Stop being yourself."

"How is that a tiny favor?" she whispered loudly.

"Shhh."

She glares at me and whispers softly but just as harsh.

"How is that a tiny favor!"

"Ok, do me a big favor. Happy now?"

She rolls her eyes and faces forward.

"You just naturally annoy people."

"Hey! And so what if I do?"

"You're annoying very dangerous people. They're S-rank criminals for Pete's sake."

"…I don't even know what an S- rank criminal is."

"Ugh! The point is avoid speaking to them altogether."

Bria shifts her eyes to look at Itachi's seemingly peaceful form.

"He doesn't look so bad."

I rolled my eyes.

"Ms. Harris, 4th Grade, 'Never judge a book by its cover'. He killed his entire clan. Well, actually he got help from-"

It was then I remembered something that was kinda important.

Ninjas have extremely good hearing.

"You know what I changed my mind he did it himself," I squeaked, snapping my eyes shut.

"Whatever," I heard Bria mutter.

I slowly open my eyes and let them roam to where Itachi was sitting.

'_Maybe he wasn't listen-'_

Onyx met purple.

I send him a sheepish smile, his eye narrow.

Awesome.

"I got the wat-"

"Kisame go scout ahead and see if you can find a quick route I'd rather not waste anymore time, and take the girl with you."

"Geez slave driver," Kisame grunted as he walked towards me.

'_Yes!'_

"Not that one."

'_No…'_

Kisame changes direction and grabs Bria's wrist, throwing her over his shoulder.

"Whoa big guy! Talk about man handling! Didn't your mother ever teach you how to treat a lady?"

"Oh so is that what you are?" his face calm but you could see the amused glint in his eye.

"Why you- Ahh!" She yelled suddenly as they take off an I hear Kisame's chuckles trail off.

And then comes the silence.

Itachi slowly stands and begins walking towards me. He unties my ropes and pulls me up to my feet taking a step back.

"How do you know so much?"

And this is where I decide to play it by logic. In lots a fanfiction I read the character tells Itachi or whoever that they are actually an anime…like he'd believe that. So I think I'll try playing dumb.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about."

He took a step forward now stand mere inches away from me.

"I advise you not to play dumb."

"Maybe I just am."

What the heck Quinn. Way to diss yourself.

He lifted his perfect brow with grace only he could have.

"For a dumb person you seem to know a lot about the Akatsuki."

"I'm not dumb and it's common knowledge. Who hasn't heard rumors about the Akatsuki?"

"Your friend."

I pause, "She's a different case altogether."

He's quiet for a second as if calculating the next question…or how to quickly kill me…let's hope for the first.

"When you were talking about the Uchiha Massacre earlier-"

"Uchiha Massacre?"

His eyes narrow dangerously. Ok maybe that was a bit too dumb.

"Oh right, you mean the one when you killed your entire clan?"

"I'm quite sure that's only one," he says annoyance seeping into his tone.

"Yes, of course."

He looks at me thoughtfully and then…smirks…

He takes another step forward, which immediately results in me jumping back causing my back to come in contact with the tree.

His smirk turns a bit more…sadistic.

"Are you…afraid of me?"

I narrow my eyes hoping to come off as defiant as I mentally peed on myself.

"You tell me."

"I think you are."

"Think again."

"Not necessary."

He slams his palm right above my head leaning forward so he was tower over me. His eyes flashed red causing a shiver to run down my spine, he must have noticed as I saw satisfaction in his eyes.

"Answer my questions girl and no harm will come your way."

"And if I choose not to?"

His eyes become red, permanently this time.

"I'll make this trip miserable for you."

I freeze and everything around me seems to go cold. This is not like the fanfiction or me watching Naruto on the tevo, this is actually very scary. My life is on the line here.

"Ask away," I gritted through clenched teeth annoyed with my whole predicament.

His eyes fade back to onyx and he smirks not moving his hand or at least leaning out of my face.

"What were you saying to your friend about the Uchiha Massacre?"

"Just common knowledge, you killed your clan and left your brother alive."

He raises is eyebrow slightly.

"Is that all?"

I knew he was referring to the last part of my speal with Bria. Most likely the he had an accomplice part.

"Yes."

Suddenly he grabbed my neck and lifted me re-slamming me into the tree. His sharingan was spinning and I could barely breath.

"I'm not a medic but I am good enough with the body to tell when someone's lying," he whispers in a calm but dangerous voice, "Do you really wanna try me?"

How the hell does he expect me to answer that if I can't even breath?

As if reading my mind, his grip loosens slightly just enough for me to speak, not that I had anything to say.

"So girl answer me."

I remain silent.

"I'm warning you…" he whispers dangerously.

Silence.

"Girl ans-"

"M-my name…is Quinn," I gasp with a defiant smirk.

Do I have a death wish?

At I saw so much hatred and anger in Itachi's eyes. The killing intent was so strong that even I, who is not a ninja, was almost suffocated .

What did I effing do?

Suddenly he calmed and dropped my retying the rope as I fell on the ground. Soon, I heard faint steps which I assume was Kisame returning.

'_So I'm a bit safer when Kisame's is around because according to them I must be taken to the leader alive and he also doesn't want Kisame to lose his cool…SCORE!'_

I smirk at Itachi, expecting to either get annoyed or just be impassive.

"Some genius."

He looked at me and unexpectedly smirked.

He reached behind me making it look as if he was tying the already tied ropes behind my back.

He leaned into my ear and chuckling lightly as he whispered.

"You're proving to be a challenge, but I've always loved challenges. So please, amuse me more. I'm going to have so much fun with you and I'll take my time to mentally rip you to pieces…though I'll make sure to so how you look in blood…I'm quite sure it's beautiful. You don't know what you've gotten yourself into by messing with Akatsuki, ne _Princess._"

* * *

**A/N: Itachi was kinda OOC but hey, lemme have a little fun x] **

**REVIEW :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi :) Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Is it necessary?**

* * *

I'm going to kick Itachi Uchiha in the-

"Quinnny!"

I look to see my lovely friend skipping over to where I was sitting, water canteen in hand.

"Yo," I said calmly.

"Guess what?" She said mischievously.

"What."

"Guess!"

"…"

"Close, but no. I know how to esc-"

I put my hand over her mouth already knowing what she was going to say, but I didn't want our ninja counterparts over-hearing our conversation again.

'_Later'_ I mouth to her.

I look to where Itachi and Kisame are discovering travel plans…when I say it like that they sound like our travel agents…I wish.

I look back to Bria, but she only winked at me.

Creeper.

"We'll rest here for the night," Kisame announced, "Some people aren't fit for travelling," he finished throwing Bria a mean look.

"Geez if you're tired just say so sharky," she shot back with an evil smirk, "Just go to sleep."

He just glared at her and turned to Itachi.

"I'll take first watch."

Itachi simply nodded. He took a swig of the water in the canteen and went to lay down.

The whole time Bria is grinning like mad may I add. I rhyme all the time…Okay enough of that.

Kisame goes and sits down staring off into the distance. He eventually turns to look at Bria who is already staring at him.

"Can I help you, brat?" He says maliciously.

"No. Not at all," She replies with her award-winning, guy-melting, smile.

He simply grunts and looks away taking hold of the canteen Itachi had water-falled not too long ago. Speaking of Itachi, what was up with him earlier. It was actually extremely frightening… I'm mentally healthy and I'd like it to remain that way. The nasty son of a-

"Yes! Mission accomplished!" Bria shouted.

I expected Itachi to look up and see what she was yelling about but he did not stir. Now that I think about it, he hasn't even moved since he laid down. I look to Kisame only to find him lying on the ground, sleeping apparently. Could none of them hear my obnoxious best friend yelling into the night?

"Oi Bri."

"Yes?" She replies with a grin.

"What did you do?" I whisper more to myself than to her.

"Well, I mixed berries that make you sleep for 24 hours into the water, elementary dear Watson."

**Bria's P.O.V**

I flash my narutard friend my award-winning, guy-melting, smile, only to be met with a look of total confusion and poorly hidden annoyance…or maybe she's not trying to hide it… I digress.

"Ok I'll start from the beginning. When Kisame and I were going to go get the water…"

_Flashback_

_I look at Kisame. _

"_Why are you carrying me as if I'm some piece of luggage."_

"_You weren't expecting me to carry you like some kind of princess were you?"_

"_Well it would've been more courteous than this."_

"_I'm no gentleman," He chuckles evilly._

_I roll my eyes._

"_I don't appreciate having your butt in my face."_

"_The feeling's mutual."_

"_Ugh!" _

_He sudden flips me over, now carrying me bridal style._

"_Shut up now."_

_I smile._

"_Shut doesn't go up."_

"_Do you know the meaning of the word fear?"_

"_Do you know the meaning of the word faeces?"_

_He glares at me. I smile back._

"_Ignorant little-"_

"_I see the stream!"_

_He drops down on to the grass and throws me on the floor. _

"_Sit still."_

'_I'm not five…' I inwardly pout. I look to my right and see a bush full of pretty, delicious looking berries. I take a bunch and stuff em' in my pockets. Just as I'm about to put one in my mouth, I feel a firm grip on my wrists stopping it from moving._

"_Not that I would mind, but if you ate one of those you'd be out of it for a good 48 hours."_

_My eyes widen, however not with surprise, but the kind of way it does when you have an idea. Yeah…that way. I digress. _

"_Well don't just sit there looking cock-eyed, get up let's go."_

"_A few kind words go a long way, my friend. You know, back in my day-"_

_Kisame suddenly lugs me over his shoulder._

"_This again? You know, back in my day-"_

_End Flashback_

I see Quinn staring at me as if I'm retarded, yet intelligent.

**Quinn's P.O.V**

I look at Bria like the retard she is. Though I must admit it was a pretty intelligent plan.

"How did you smuggle it in their drinks, again?"

"Simple my dear, the the canteens were strapped to the back of his thighs so I just crushed the juice into them."

"So…they're knocked out?

"Yes."

"For 48 hours?"

"Could've sworn I said-"

"This is wonderful!" I exclaim excitedly. I quickly run over to Itachi, turn him sideways, and swiftly kick him in the ass-mission accomplished. I then kick him multiple times were the sun don't shine. Next I turn him so he's lying on his back and jump up and down on his ribs successfully shattering his rib cage. I turn to Bria who's just laughing at me.

"Break Kisame's legs!"

I jump on Itachi's legs repeatedly until I heard a satisfying crunch and signal for Bria to do the same to Kisame. She does. Call me sadistic, but there is something I read on fanfiction and wanted to try. I first had to think of something clever….Oh yeah…I took a marker (surprisingly, enough) out of Itachi's little pouch thingy and wrote in big letters "PRINCESS" on one arm and "QUINN" on the other.

"Nice touch," I hear Bria remark off-handedly above me.

"I try," I smiled, "now steal their necessities and let's go."

Bria packs a bag of important stuff and then runs to Kisame and Itachi respectively. I send her a questioning look only to see her hold up two kunai pouches.

"Better safe than sorry," She sang before placing them in the bag. I nod to her.

"Let's go."

* * *

After an hour of traveling (Kisame had a watch), we arrived at a small town. It seemed very…homey. There were a lot of old and young people who all wore smiles and talked with and greeted each other as if they were old friends.

How. Awesome. Is. That!

"Excuse me young ladies," an cool looking, for lack of better words, young woman calls to us. We walk over to where she's sitting in front of a quaint cottage.

"Yes ma'am?" Bria says politely, turning on her charmingness.

"Oh such a beautiful young person!"

"Hey! What about me!" I said in an annoyed tone.

They lady glanced at me, "Oh…yes…you too…"

Insert awkward silence.

"Was there anything we could help you with?" Bria smile kindly

"Not that we'd want to-ooph!" Bria elbowed me in the stomach.

There was a twinkle in the woman's eye.

"Oh how I wish some children were as civilized as you dear," she drawled casting a sidelong look at me.

I roll my eyes and smirk.

"You can eat the cat, old hag."

The lady smirked back.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, brat."

"Bitch."

"Whore."

"Slut."

"Skank."

At the same time we both outstretch our hands…and shake.

"Quinn."

"Anko."

"You're ok…hag," forgetting that in the formality in spite of my narutardation.

She seems to smirk at my roughness. Oh well ok.

"The feelings mutual…brat."

"Okay what?" Bria says now confused.

"Loser," Anko and me say in unison. We look at each other with stars in our eyes.

"My long lost little sister!" Anko says run to me.

"My long lost older sister!" I say running back.

"Super New Sister Glomp Of Love!"

I guess its self explanatory what happened next.

Okay enough of that," we both say letting each other go but still smirking.

Bria just laughs. She likes laughing at me.

"So what are you two doing out here so late! People can hurt you."

"We got kidnapped by the ak-!"

"We have no family and just ran away from a cruel orphanage in a far away village and have been travelling for hour." I know I said "for hour." That way it wasn't a _total_ lie… Ha-ha. Ha…

Anko seemed to look at us carefully to see if we were telling the truth. Bria looked calm, far too hungry to care what was being said. I also looked calm, but was praying inwardly that she would believe me.

"Well," Anko said, "On that note I'll take you to the Hidden Leaf Village with me and ask Tsunade if you can live with me to perform household duties." She finished with a smirk.

"Awesome."

"Sure."

"Now then, let's get something to eat!" Anko pronounces unnecessarily loud.

Just to put the icing on the cake I say.

"I could go for some dango."

* * *

**A/N: Review! They make me update faster. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Omgizzle! It's been forever! So sorry! School kinda just collided! Please Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own :)**

**

* * *

**

It was now morning. Bria, Anko, and I had rested in the town last night.

"I'm. So. Friggin. Tired!" Bria moaned from behind Anko and me. I must admit I was kinda tired too, but unlike Bria, I am not a fan of imposing myself on others. Still I can understand her pain and am proud of her for walking for four hours straight.

Four. Fucking. Hours... To hell with imposing.

"Anko can we take a break? My friend," I comment pointing to a panting Bria, "needs to stay alive, ya know?"

"Ha!" Anko guffawed, "Sure. There is a clearing up ahead."

"YES."

I think we all know who that was by now.

We sit for a bit in comfortable silence when I decide to ask a question.

"So… Nice weather we're having, eh?"

Bria simply stares at me. Anko doesn't even give me the courtesy.

"Ehem..Er..So how far until Konoha?"

"Another hour-"

Anko suddenly puts her hand to her ear. Her smile falls. And falls. And then she frowns. And it gets deeper. And deeper.

And deeper.

Shit.

**-With Itachi and Kisame-**

Itachi's eyes snapped open as he quickly jumped to his feet. Complete and utter pain cascaded through his entire body, causing him to collapse to the ground once more.

'_What is this..?' _ he thought annoyed with his current unexplainable predicament.

"They're broken," Kisame answered with a sigh.

'_Well that explains…something' _

"Kisame you giving half-assed explanations is not helping the situation or my mood. Continue."

Kisame sighed again, though was now watching the seemingly calm Uchiha warily.

"Those brats did something."

If he hadn't been brought up in a family where masking emotions was key his eye would have twitched at Kisame's obvious lack of explanatory skills.

"Elaborate," he said voice still calm.

Kisame, having been Itachi's teammate for a while now could kind of tell when the Uchiha was mad.

The Uchiha was mad.

Having come to this scary conclusion, he decided to hurry up with his story.

"I think the noisy one, Bria I think her name was, slipped those 24 hour sleeping berries into our water. And looking at your arms I think that the blond thought it would be smart to break our legs…Clever girl."

'_Clever indeed,'_ Itachi albeit reluctantly admitted. He then remembered Kisame mentioning something about his arms. He looked to his arms to see 'Princess' and 'Quinn' written respectively on each arm. To say his rage was enough to destroy a whole village would've been an understatement. Even Kisame took a couple of steps back.

"These girls are proving to be a nuisance."

Kisame gulped. Boy was he glad he wasn't one of them. Not even that. Being that Bria girl wouldn't be as bad. It was that Quinn girl he really felt sorry for.

Well isn't this just peachy.

No literally that wasn't sarcasm.

After the unnecessarily long trek, courtesy of Bria, back to Konohagakure. We had finally made it. And actually this might be the coolest part of the whole trip. The place looks even cooler in person than it does in the anime.

"Anko how long did it actually take for us to get here?" I inquire so I can figure out how long we have till that juice wears off.

"Oh 5 hours I suppose."

Five hours…

Well isn't this just peachy.

Now that time, it was sarcasm.

As it turns out, someone had told Anko over her little communicator thingy they had spotted ninja wearing cloaks not exactly near, but in the area. Awake. Well that sucks for us. As it turns out when Bria and I went to sleep for the night we slept for most of the day! Precious hours of escape Akatsuki hours wasted! Plus it had only been 24 hours meaning Bria had gotten the whole time thing messed up! And she still claims she said 24. The nerve.

"Whoa! I must be really in shape," Bria suddenly proclaims.

"Yeah…" sweat drops Anko, "Well anyway! First things first I have to take you to see the Hokage"

"Oh yes the Hoka-guy!" Bria pronounces oh-so-intelligently

"Shut your face Bri"

"Shut your nose!"

"Ok."

"So!" Anko interrupts with a laugh, "follow me if you will."

After a quick tour of the town, and a stop and sniff at Ichiraku's (weird I know but we didn't have enough time to actually stop and eat), we reached the Hokage's tower. As we walk through the halls I can't help but wonder who is currently the Hokage. We soon arrive at the doors and see two anbus beaver and raccoon (how ironic that when I was watching iCarly before we were transported they were talking about the beave-coon).

"Oh one second!" Anko exclaimed before running off leaving Bria and I with just the anbu.

Bria. Anbu. Great.

"Soooooooooooo! Sup fellas?" Bria says conversationally. But how conversational can you be with anbu?

Not very of course cause they remained silent.

"Um? I'm talking to you guys."

Silence.

"Is it cause I'm not wearing an animal mask? Is that why?"

Silence.

"Okay, fine pretend I have a, oh I don't know, a wolf mask on my face."

Silence.

"Would you prefer if it was a monkey?"

Silence.

"If you want I can flaunt my funky rhymes all the times."

Silence.

"Whoa you guys are good."

Silence.

"Yo me llamo Bria. Como te llamas?"

"Really Bria? They don't want to talk to you!"

"WHY? IS IT CAUSE I'M FAT?" (By the way Bria has the figure of an athlete too…)

She runs up and get in beaver's face.

"IS IT?"

Beaver, who had been staring straight ahead, surprisingly, turned to look at her.

"You are not a ninja of Konoha nor are you a civilian so I'm not entitled to keep you safe."

Bria look momentarily confused. Seeing this, the anbu clarified.

"Take a good five steps back or I will force you to."

Silence.

"And if I don't?"

"Bria he just said he would force you too."

"Oh…well oh. Fine."

She takes five steps back and pout like a dejected five year old. At this time Anko rounds the corner and motions for us to follow her into the office giving the anbu a nod of recognition. I swear as we walked in I heard them chuckle. I looked to Bria and saw her smirking.

Bria: 1

The rest of the world: …0

As I stepped through the door I looked to the Hokage. This moment would help me decide where we are in Naruto's timeline. In the chair was.

Hatake Kakashi.

Haha nahh just kidding.

It was actually the Sandiame. For those of you who are not that deep narutards it means that the third Hokage (old man Sarutobi) was in office. Whoa so I guess we're still in the time period of when I'm older than the Rookie Nine not their age mates.  
"I found these two on the outskirts of Konohagakure. They seemed to have just escaped their orphanage where they were abused. I'm asking permission to take them under my charge and have them train and do house work."

The third to a long smoke and closed his eyes.

"And how…are you sure of these two's story."

"Ha well they don't look like liars."

Oh my god we are such liars.

"Hmmm."

The Hokage turned to look at me. He studied me for what seemed like thirty minutes.

"I wish to speak to the one with purple eyes for a moment."

"Wait, you want to put me in the hall alone with those two creepy animal masked people and this crazy purple-haired chick?"

And she was doing so well.

The Hokage gave a deep grand-fatherly chuckle.

"Only for a minute or two if you please."

Bria, looking a bit stunned at how nice and kind he seemed to be, just nodded her head and headed towards the door. I turned to look at the third, trying to be calm. Of course I feel safer when I'm standing in front of the leader of the Hidden Leaf Village than in front of Kisame and Itachi, but to the Hokage I'm a random chick with blonde hair and purple eyes.

"You guys aren't telling the whole truth."

Ha. Smart guy.

"Well um Haha we may or may not have…met up with -."

Wait a minute… I just realized. This is peaceful Konoha right now. Sauske's still here, things are nice. Do I really want them to have to start dealing with the Akatsuki this early…?

Nah. I think I'll leave them be.

"But actually…I think my friend and I have to leave this village. It was really nice of Anko to offer us such hospitality and we would have kindly accepted…but there are something's I have to take care of first."

The Hokage seemed to be searching my eyes.

"You seem to have a kind heart," he says closing his eyes.

"Itachi probably thinks the opposite," I mutter sarcastically.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh nothing."

He sighed.

"As much as I'd rather a couple of young girls like you two should be protected I understand you have obligations you must fulfill. Leave whenever you wish."

I smile.

"You're too kind, Hokage-sama."

I turn and walkout of the office, only to find Bria poking an Anbu's arm. I grab her hand and pull her away.

"Beaver and Raccoon. You guys are my two favorite…uhh…Anba's…" Bria finishes lamely.

"Anbu," one of them replies.

"Right."

"…What is your name?"

"Bria! And that is Quinn"

"You guys are our two favorite random non-Konoha civilians."

Well that was unexpected.

Bria: 2

The rest of the world: 0

"Thanks guys I say as I drag Bria along."

"Where we goin'? Bria asked.

"Out of this village?"

"Yup."

"Now?"

"Yup."

"…Back to the Aka-what-their faces?"

"…Yeah…"

We both sigh as we make our way back to the spot we left the stupid Akatsuki members.

"Wait a minute," I say as me and Bria are about two hours out of Konoha.

Bria looks at me.

"I mean we don't necessarily have to go back to those jerks…I mean you've already smarted Kisame!"

Bria slowly grins.

"Really!"

"Nope… I don't think we do. Yup I think I can handle that Uchiha "genius" Ha!," I say, a smirk making its way onto my face, "I think I remember the way back to that old town we can stay in an inn or something, chill out."

Bria laughs and grabs my arm.

"I think I saw a hot springs there…!"

"I think we can fit that in."

"It'll be like a mini-vacation! One we don't know how to return from…but a vacation nonetheless!"

"It's a good thing I did a bit of pickpocketing on the way here."

Bria and I start skipping.

**-With Itachi and Kisame-**

Well isn't this just peachy.

Walking, searching aimlessly with no lead. With broken legs, no less.

You decide if that was sarcasm.

Kisame glances nervously at Itachi, his killer intent still rolling off.

Itachi tried to calm himself. He decided to distract his thoughts by thinking of the different ways he could deal with his "princess". He had already gotten in touch with Pein and he seemed fairly interested in the situation especially in the two girls. Itachi mentally sighed at allowing this Quinn girl to rile him up. With this though he forced himself to calm down, and even accomplished doing so.

Well…until.

"Nope… I don't think we do. Yup I think I can handle that Uchiha "genius" Ha!"

Itachi's eye twitched. Well finding them hadn't been too hard.

Well except for the broken legs part.

"Are we gonna snatch them now "Uchiha genius"," Kisame smirked dangerously.

Itachi returned the smirk.

"Let's let them think they're safe…for now."

* * *

**A/N: Review! :) Love to you guys and thanks for hanging with me! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: The moment we've all been waiting for! The face off with the Akatsuki leader. I personally liked this one and I hope you guys do too! :)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine :) If it was, Hinata would kick way more ass. **

* * *

Vampire Knight.

I like it. It's not my favorite series ever; however, it is very interesting.

Skip Beat.

I adore it. It meets most of my female protagonist requirements.

Ore-Sama Teacher.

Not as well known. But one of my all-time favorites. A protagonist who can fight like that and is also funny deserves some attention.

But no.

Of all these fairly safe stories, I picked Naruto to be obsessed with.

For heaven's sake why not Avatar: The Last Airbender!

Oh well. It could be worse.

I mean, waking up in the labyrinth of cave-like halls of the Akatsuki base tied to my unconscious best friend isn't _that _bad. Right?

Of course, it always turns out like this.

Doesn't it?

Or is it just me?

I think so.

But I can't help but want to laugh at all the crazy fanfics out there who pictured the base to be a modern manor. Come on now, we've all read and indulged in the nice but untrue fantasies of, oh you know, watching movies with the Akatsuki or even playing crazy spin the bottle games.

Mhm yeah, no.

I sigh.

"I thinks she's awake now, un."

Wonder who that was.

"No shit, sherlock. I mean, I _did_ sigh pretty loudly there, don't ya think?" I mutter, my throat a bit hoarse because I haven't been speaking.

Thud.

The sound of a kunai landing right by my head.

"How kind," I say in a whisper.

At this time I open my eyes and I'm in a well lit room. There is a couch present, but of course Bria and I are lounging here on the wall. I lift my right hand, the one not tied to Bria, and pinch the bridge of my nose.

Fuck.

"I see she's just as annoying as Itachi said she would be, un."

That jerks my attention and I look at in front of me. Walking towards me is none other than Deidara of the Akatsuki.

Nice.

He unties me from Bria who now seems to be waking from her slumber.

"Man," She sighs "I feel like someone lugged a brick at me."

She looks at me. Then at Deidara. Then at his cloak. Then back at me.

"What happened."

Good question.

I sigh before answering.

"Good question."

I look back at Deidara as he stands, finished with untying us from each other.

"Follow me, un."

God, I hate that speech impediment.

Soon we reach a door. A very plain door. It's brown and has-

…Wait.

Why am I describing the door?

He opens said door and walks inside and I assume we're supposed to follow. Before I can walk in, however, I feel something grip my arm.

It's Bria.

A quite nervous looking Bria at that.

I send her a small smirk as if to tell her we'll be fine, before walking in.

And for a second, I think I almost believed we would.

We sit down in two chairs. There is a table in front of us; on the other side are ten chairs, giving us a full view of nine out of ten of the Akatsuki members.

The voice came from the one shrouded in darkness.

How cliché.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Bria! And that's Quinn!"

I glance at Bria, hiding my surprise at how nervous she looked in the hallway compared to now. Guess she got over it quickly.

"Where are you guys from."

I answer that one.

"Not here."

It's quiet for a moment. I soon realize that I had put back up my nonchalant façade. I glance around at the faces not hidden. They're all staring at me.

Well,darn.

The voice speaks again.

"I encourage you to be more specific."

I try again.

"We're from a hidden village called…Americagure. Though it was a hidden village, it was not a ninja one. We had very few of that ilk. As a result, we were destroyed. My friend and I were off travelling before it happened and are the only two from Americagure that I know of. We don't even know what destroyed our land-"

"But it was very pretty! And there were lots and lots of flowers! Oh! And it never rained! This is that place that always rains right? What's it called, Quinny?"

"Amegakure."

"Yeah that!"

Silence once again takes over. I hadn't exactly planned on Bria's outburst, but I suppose it didn't do damage.

A feminine voice spoke up.

"Deidara, did you take them outside or have you spoken to them?"

Oh no, if this is going where I think it is ...then...well...shit!

"No, un."

The male voice who had been questioning us at first speaks again.

"How did you know you were in Ame?"

Now as crazy, or sadly, not as crazy, as this sounds, I have planned this scene multiple times in my head. Who knew being a Narutard could help save my life.

"You know, it would be nice to see who is asking us so many questions," I say flippantly.

Another silence ensues. But this one has a bit of uneasiness to it as if I said something I wasn't supposed to. Then I again I doubt anyone questions this guy, nonetheless command him. Which I didn't even do!

I hear a short chuckle come from the figure before I hear the chair move forward. I slowly turn my eyes to the voice as his face comes into the light. I feel confidence-eating butterflies swarming gracefully in my stomach as I meet eyes with him.

I feel my blood chill as I stare at the "Leader" of the Akatsuki and the rinnengan user himself.

Pein.

He stairs impassively at me, but his aura has danger written all over it. I even feel Bria stiffen beside me.

"My question."

"Oh right," I mutter as I put myself in order and defrost my blood stream. I force the fear down.

And look him straight in the eyes.

Lord have mercy on my soul.

"Well you see the clan I was from had an inbuilt extensive knowledge on everything."

I pause and look to Itachi.

"We know your past."

My gaze shifts to Deidara.

"Your present."

I look at Sasori.

"Your future."

I look at Pein again.

"Who you are."

I do something quite dangerous at this point; though I my appearance is nonchalant and I stay the same time I did with everyone else I looked at.

I lock gazes with Tobi.

"And who you aren't."

I look back at Pein.

"I understand that with all the trouble we have caused you may not have us in high esteem. But I suppose we can be of service to you."

Yeah, right! Like I'd sell out Naruto!

Pein stares at me but I see curiosity flash through his eyes.

Good or bad?

"Does she have this power as well?"

Fuck.

I already know who he is talking about. You see, when I planned this in my head.

Bria. Wasn't. There.

Why would she be?

Oh well, guess I gotta wing it.

"Well, no."

"Well then what's the purpose of keeping her around as well?"

"Uh, cause I'm awesome."

Despite the situation I smile a bit. I've got to hand it to her; she sure knows how to make me feel more confident in the fact that I'm not the biggest retard in the room.

I speak up once more, noticing Pein glance at Bria.

Or I try to.

"It would do you well to not speak when I am not addressing you."

Brace yourself for Bria's most likely retarded comeback.

"It would do you well to not speak."

I turn to look at her sharply. I wasn't expecting that retarded of a statement! If I've told her anything about Naruto, it's not to piss of the Akatsuki. Of course, she would mouth off to the freaking leader. She looks at me as if to say she's not sorry. I just send her a look to silence which she complies with but rolls her eyes. Though I can't help but smirk at her reply. Retarded it may have been, but it was quite funny.

I quickly wipe it off my face remembering that it wouldn't really help the situation. I roll my eyes at Bria and look back to Pein. He didn't look happy…or mad for that matter. He just seemed to survey me and Bria's interaction with an emotion I can't read. I clear my throat.

"Accessing and using the knowledge is quite the energy drainer. Her clan, which is like our brother clan, has the job of helping us replenish our energy so it's as if we never lost any."

Yeah…that'll have to do.

Pein locks his eyes on me and it feels as if we are the only two people in the room. His face remains impassive. I don't know if that's reassuring or not.

"And you are willing to work for us."

I pause for a moment thinking about his question and trying to answer logically.

"Depends on your answer to this question."

He doesn't say anything, so I take that as a cue to continue.

"Will you let us leave right now if we promise not to bother you guys again?"

"No."

Lovely.

"Lovely," I hear Bria mutter as she looks to her side, glaring at the innocent wall.

Great minds think alike.

I sigh exasperatedly and rub my temples, feeling as cool as I look with my chill manner. Not reflecting my inner turmoil.

"Figured as much. So in that case yes, we would be willing to work for you. Of course depending on your definition of work."

"What do you mean?"

I raise a brow.

"I'm no ninja."

"That's for sure," I hear Kisame guffaw quietly at one side of the table.

Bria and I both openly shoot him a glare to which he shrugs off with a small smirk.

Pein continues as if Kisame hasn't spoken.

"Do you have any other terms?"

Now it is this point in a fanfiction you get loads of crazy shit.

"Edible food or at least food to cook something edible with,"

No raw meat or instant noodles. But I'm not cooking a meal for the entire Akatsuki, making all their favorites as happens in many fanfictions. What do I look like?

"Change of clothes,"

I hope we don't get those cloaks. I don't have enough creative expertise as the girls in those fanfictions to make it more presentable by turning it into a mini dress and what not.

"It would be nice if we," I point between Bria and I, "could share a room,"

Yeah none of that sharing beds with Akatsuki members junk. Dangerous, much? In more way than one.

"Not to be harmed,"

Have you noticed no one ever asks for that? I suppose it's understood…

Pein looks at me, letting no emotion show on his face.

"Is that all?"

I pause for a moment as one popular request comes to mind.

To be trained as a ninja.

…

HAHA! Hell no!

"That'll be all."

Pein looks between Bria and I and once again focuses in on me.

He shows the first emotion I've seen this whole "interview".

He smirks and an evil glint flashes through his eyes...

Justice League Unlimited.

Not an anime, but hey it would've worked too. Who doesn't want to be a superhero…or a superhero's wife.

Pokemon.

Well when Misty was there anyway.

All have such potential but no. I was dragged into the most dangerous one of all. Not only that, but I am now face to face with the most life-threatening villains out of all the shows I named.

"Welcome to the Akatsuki."

Well, fuck.

* * *

**A/N: Geez that one was a fairly long one. Many questions left unanswered in this. The big one being: Uh how did Quinn and Bria get there? Haa yesh I know! All will soon be revealed. **

**Well if you review, that is.**

**Stay tuned.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! You guys rock! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine :S**

* * *

So despite all my attempts, we still ended up in the Akatsuki. We're hanging by a thread, and we're probably going to be asked to sell people out. We're gonna have to lie. We're gonna get caught. And we're gonna die.

Well isn't that just peachy.

Oh well, maybe there is hope…Yes! Maybe I can still-

"Wait what?" Bria said incredulously.

The Akatsuki looked toward her and I did too. Let's see where this is going. Bria looks at each member then look at me. And so starts our mini conversation as we have totally forgotten the Akatsuki are present.

"I thought they were the bad guys."

I sigh and nod my head.

"They still are."

"So…are they gonna kill us?"

"No…"

"But there's a catch."

"Isn't there always?"

"Well, what is it?"

"We have to give them information on anything they ask for."

"You mean, you do."

"Exactly."

"Well are you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"They're the bad guys."

I pause for a moment. She continues.

"Aww man! We're on the bad guys side! That means no one is gonna like or trust us!"

Damn. I obviously didn't think this through.

"Damn. I obviously didn't think this through."

She glares at me.

"Your world. Think of something!"

"Not my world. It's Kishimoto's world. Bam."

"Ugh."

We both turn our attentions back to the homicidal killers only to be met with either confused or impassive faces. Pein breaks the silence.

"Tobi, take them to one of the empty rooms."

"Okay!"

Wait Tobi? In this sort of situation its usually one of Bria and I's potential love interests or friends that takes us to our room and the walk to the room is the beginning of said relationship…What happened! I was kinda looking forward to that! Unless…Tobi is the friend/potential love interest! That could not work! Uchiha Madara? Sadistic, crazy, bastard extraordinaire? Yeah, no. Tobi gets out of his chair and runs out, grabbing me and Bria's hand in the process.

"Follow me!"

Bria narrows her eyes, obviously annoyed.

"We already are."

Tobi stops and looks at Bria. She raises and eyebrow.

"Girly doesn't like Tobi."

"Wrong. Bria doesn't like Tobi."

"Why!"

I look at her.

"Uh yeah, why?"

She then looks confused.

"Cause you don't like him…Right?"

Oh. Ohhhhhhhh. How nice of her. She remembered at least one thing about Naruto that I told her, but I really don't think that was the wisest thing to say. Tobi looks at me and tilts his head to the side.

"That's good! Tobi doesn't like pretty lady either!"

Wait what?

"Wait what?"

Tobi laughs and keeps skipping.

"Tobi said he likes pretty lady!"

That is not what he said. But somehow Bria buys it.

"Oh…Well then I don't dislike you anymore!"

"Yay! Tobi's a good boy!"

After a couple more steps we see a door.

"Yay! A bed," Bria says as she dashes in and slams the door behind her.

I smile and move to catch up with her.

Or at least I try too.

A hand grips my arm, restricting further movement.

I turn around coming face to chest with Tobi.

"Problem?" I say as wise-assy as possible.

"Tobi knows what pretty lady is really thinking."

"Is that so? Then why are you still holding on to me?"

The grip tightens. I decide on a different approach.

"Is that so? Then why are you still talking like a retarded five year old?"

A deep chuckle rises from his throat. Giving off a more masculine, and deadly sound. I immediately decided I didn't like that chuckle.

"I see we have another smartass in the group," his arm tightens at the word "smartass".

"Yeah? Well you're psycho."

Poor choice of words.

At this he slams me against the wall, totally invading my personal space, and whispers threateningly in my ear.

"You haven't seen anything yet. So my dear all-knowing one, since you have such "infinite knowledge" you should know already who you are dealing with. I have a couple of questions for you. And you will answer them, correct?" he says as he leans back to lock eyes with me.

"Technically, I'm not obligated to tell you diddly," I glare.

Now let me tell you about my glares. They are pretty darn fierce. I think it's my eyes. They tend to scare people. Or anger them.

Tobi chuckled again, place one of my pale blonde hairs behind my ears.

"I wonder what's going to make me kill you first. Your mouth or your eyes."

I suppress the shiver threatening to run down my spine and smirk.

"Trust me. It'll be my mouth."

At that point, I hear Bria call from the other room.

"Quinnny! Come hither!"

I once again meet his mask.

"If you'd be so kind."

He let me go, but as I turned to walk off he hugged crushing my ribs as my back pressed into his chest.

"We will _definitely_ conversation will continue later."

Then as quickly as he latched on to me, he was gone. I sigh.

"Have mercy on my soul."

* * *

**Bria's POV**

I'm confuzzled.

Yes. Confuzzled.

I was walking merrily to the eating area when I suddenly realized something. Something important.

I have no freaking clue where it is.

So now I am walking aimlessly down the hall hungry and flippin' confuzzled.

"What are you fucking doing here, bitch."

And now I'm being cursed at! I turn to see a white haired guy with pinkish, purplish eyes watching me a few steps away.

"Well, if you must know, I am searching for the dining area."

"You mean the fucking kitchen?"

"I mean what I said."

He looks at me with a raised brow.

"Wait, you're one of the two bitches I can't sacrifice!"

I look at him completely and utterly perplexed as I try and rack my brain for anything Quinn might have told me about this member.

I got nothing.

"Yeah haha..I guess I am!" I say slowly.

"Follow me bitch," he says as he begins to walk.

"My name is Bria," I mutter as I follow.

I walk promptly into his back and fall to the ground.

"What was that?"

He's not seriously going to get mad over this is he? I shakily get off the ground and look to see and angry dude glaring at me.

I think he is.

"I said: May _name _is _Bri-a_. Are you hard of hearing or something?" I finish, mocking a certain fish I love to hate.

He takes 3 steps closer and gets right in my face.

"You better fucking watch it you little whore. Giving you to Janshin won't fucking affect me at all."

Janshin…?

"Janshin…? What the heck is a Janshin?"

He looked taken aback, then he looked piss, then he had this freakish smile on his face that, quite frankly, gave me the creeps. He starts.

"Holy shit."

"What…"

"A new follower to convert. "

"Who?"

"You!"

"Uh- hold up. Not happening."

"Why not?"

"I'm Catholic."

He freezes.

"You're what."

I pull out my gold cross chain.

"Catholic."

"No."

"Fo shizzle."

"Well then," he starts, his smirk turning deadly, "I guess I'll just have to convert you."

I narrow my eyes, confused.

"I just said-! Look. No matter what you preach. I'm still gonna be Catholic."

"Who said anything about preaching?"

And I swear on all the piss that almost came out and the little that did, he pulled out a scythe.

"Oh my God!"

"He won't save you now!" the crazy mother fucker yelled at me as he charged.

Luckily for me he was stopped by that guy before he reached me. What was his name? Itaki? Otaku? Tataki? Whatever.

"Hidan."

So that's his name.

Said man rolls his eyes and just walks off as if nothing ever happened.

What a strange fellow.

Ita-whatever walks off as well.

Another strange fellow.

…

…

I'm hungry.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Omg she's alive! Haha sorry for not updating but it's Summer V now so I have more timeee! Please enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I mean, does anyone really think I own Naruto? Come on.**

* * *

I just got a marvelous idea.

Simply stunning.

As I gaze at the ceiling of this dull room I've been too hesitant to leave, I realize something. Something substantial. So I'm getting so many genius points for this one. I have valuable info that can change the series! So I should give it! Now I bet any normal person is like "FTW is this bitch that slow." Or for the more polite, "Oh this slow bunny". Some might be saying didn't she already promise said information to the Akatsuki?

I did.

But I just realized I don't have to tell the truth! Plan sabotage anyone? Heck to the yes. And also if possible, I could give information to the Avatar (1) people!

…

Naruto.

I totally mean Naruto.

Goodness I've been around Bria too long.

Anyways, I could help out the good guys! Booyah! I know, simply genius but first things first. I gotta get out of this room. And as if the answer to my silent thought

"Girl, un."

"He and or she…un."

I feel Deidara's glare as I sit up to look him in the eye.

"Sup girl! How you be doin'!" I say with a smirk.

The glare intensifies as he attempts to reign in his emotions.

"Leader-sama wishes to see you."

I jump out of bed, ready to leave this painfully boring room. I can't help but make another jab as I approach him.

"Excuse me miss? When do I get those clothes I requested?"

Deidara simply balls his fists and continues walking.

Oh how fun.

I follow suit. We walk in silence until

"Brat. Hurry up."

Deidara furrows his brows as we reach the kitchen entrance.

"Gosh danna it's not my fault the bitch walks slow!"

Really?

So now I get my own title. Jiraiya the Toad Sage, Tsunade the Slug Princess…

Quinn the Bitch.

Nice.

"Quinn."

Both stop their bickering to send me a glare.

"Nothing…" I say as I roll my eyes, "Idiots…"

They glare at me a bit longer then they both resume walking. Soon enough we reach the same door they had led me to the night before.

It's a nice door. Simple, but nice…

Deidara pulls it open ans Sasori and I trail in. I take my usual seat. Suddenly I feel something is amiss.

"For the last fucking time! I AM CATHOLIC!"

Oh yeah.

The door slams open to reveal a pissed Bria and an equally pissed Hidan. "There you are!" I say to her, "Where have you been?"

She looked at me her usual grin on her face once more.

"Breakfast," she said with an eye roll.

"More like shitfest," I turn around to see Kisame entering the room.

I sigh, "Bria let's try not to kill them."

Hidan snickered and Bria glared at life in general.

"You know what! Screw you all! This is the last time I offer my kindness," she finishes with a satisfied smirk.

"Thanks," Kisame returns," I don't really enjoy eating disgusting food."

"Enough."

Everyone goes silent and all attention shifts to the one who gave the command. I internally find the 'on' button for my nonchalant façade. Pein shifts his attention solely to me.

"I hope you have no complaints as of yet."

I give a fake smile.

"Everything's peachy."

He nods his head.

"Well then we can begin-"

"Actually! I have few complaints."

Pein turned to look a Bria and oh if looks could kill…she'd be dead a million times over. I felt Bria stiffen beside me, but she continued, plastering a sickly sweet smile on her face.

"Oh my! I hope I wasn't interrupting anything! And I really hope you weren't about to ask my friend here any questions regarding your near and or distant future!"

She is met by silence from Pein, who if you are paying attention to, is looking more and more like he wants to kill her.

Taking his silence as a "yes", she places her hand over her heart.

"Well that's wonderful, because if you were you would be in total violation of our contract."

Have I mentioned that Bria wants to be a lawyer when she grows up?

Her face becomes calm and impassive, her voice steady and unaffected, she continues.

"Because, as you well know, according to our conditions no information would be exchanged until the receipt of edible food, a change of clothes, and not to be harmed and as I recall the food in the fridge was gross and moldy, I am wearing the same thing I wore yesterday, and I have been harmed by that guy Hidan-"

At this Hidan decided to make himself heard.

"BITCH I DIDN'T TOUCH YOU!"

Her gaze does not stray from Pein's eyes as she responds.

"There was no specification as to whether the harm had to be physical or mental."

"What the fuck does that mean!"

"I would say that having someone come at you with a giant scythe can be very scarring, wouldn't you?"

The glare that Pein shot at Hidan was missed by no one.

Bria: 3

The rest of the world: 0

She sent Hidan a quick fake smile before continuing. She turns her attention back to Pein.

"Yeah. Thought as much."

Pein continues to just stare at Bria. She smirks.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"What would you have us do now then?"

She looks as if she's pondering it for a moment, but I know it's for 's obviously planned ahead.

"Well I suppose we could just add on another condition and then just continue this business as you planned."

"And this condition?"

"Isn't there some village near here? I would like for me and Quinn to be able to visit whenever a member is available to take us."

Pein just stared at her…man he can stare.

"Or…you could just never get that information and not find out how to prevent any obstacle this organization may have had to face…but hey, your call," she finishes with a shrug.

You go girl.

Finally Pein does something other than just stare at her. He smirks.

"Alright."

"Be more specific."

He closes his eyes, smirk ever present though.

"Alright to your condition."

She claps her hand together, "Oh how-"

"But I should warn you. Do not to try with my patience for it can only stretch so thin."

She plays innocent.

"Now why would I want to something as dangerous as that?"

"It'd be crazy."

"Well I have always been a bit crazy," she says with a smirk.

Pein lingers on her a bit more then turns his eyes to me. Sadly somewhere around "Alright" and "Be more specific" I kinda zoned out. I feel a sharp jab to my side.

"Huh? What? Yeah sure whatever."

I receive glares from everyone in the room.

"Sorry I tend to do that," I look at Pein, "Care to repeat?"

Pein gives me a look, but continues.

"Where are the jinchuuriki?"

The fuck? For all you non narutards out there he basically just asked me something equivalent to "Tell me where the dragon balls are." Um wanna be a bit more specific? Are you looking for the 8 star? The 7 star? Come on, work with me here!

"Ummm which one? You do know there's nine right?"

Pein looks slightly annoyed at that question as if I just asked him if he knew what his name was…which could actually be a confusing question seeing as to how-

"Yes. I know there are nine. Now where are they?" he asks interrupting my train of thought.

"Well you see," I say, kind of annoyed that he interrupted my train, "Just because I see the future doesn't mean I know where everything is at every moment. So wanna try giving me a time based question?"

"Okay look here girl-"Deidara, obviously annoyed by my attitude, starts but I interrupt him.

"Quinn! For pete's sake, how is it that no one can be addressed by their names in this place my name is not freaking girl, Goddammit"

"Second commandment!"

I stop and give Bria a look to which she simply shrugs her shoulders. If there's anything that I have learned from Bria it's that the second commandment forbids people from saying the Lord's name in vane…and that there is no respect for personal space in China.

"Has anyone noticed," the room becomes extremely quiet at the sound of Itachi's voice as all eyes turn to him, "that these girls are very talented when it comes to evading questions."

As he says this he looks directly at me. Everyone else follows suit. As they do I see Itachi smirk at me and send me a wink. Pein then nods his head, agreeing with Itachi.

"The jinchuuriki."

I nod my head.

"Yes one is in Konoha and one is in the sand. Have the Chunin Exams taken place yet?"

Pein shakes his head so I continue.

"They will take place in Konoha. I advise you to make a temporary alliance with them."

Konan raises a brow at this, "Why?"

I close my eye for a second as I try to work through this one.

"You see Orochimaru is going to attack the Hidden Leaf Village-"

"So you want us to form an alliance with Orochimaru?"

"No I-"

"Then who do you want us to form this alliance with?"

"I want you to form an alliance with Konoha so that-"

"But why would we-"

"I WANT YOU TO FORM AN ALLIANCE WITH KONOHA SO THAT you can defeat Orochimaru and get an inside look at the village and plot from there," I say quieting down my voice from yelling over Konan.

Pein seems to contemplate that one.

"That idea seems plausible…"

I nod my head, "Not only would you infiltrate Konoha, you can take down Orochimaru who has valuable Akatsuki information that he could use to destroy you," I add extra emphasis on the destroy part.

Pein finally nodded.

"Konan. I'm sure I can trust you with handling this."

"Yes, Leader-sama."

"Alright now gir-Quinn… I assume that was costly to your chakra supply so that is all we will be requiring of your services today, thank you."  
"You're wel-"

"Uhh I helped too!"

Pein gave her another if looks could kill look that was reserved for Bria. She just pouted with an eye roll.

"Dang, bruh."

* * *

**(1) That was actually unplanned but it's true! One of my friends is always talking about ATLA and she was over at my place blabbing about it when I wrote that part in my journal. Today when I typed it I saw it laughed and decided to keep it! :)**

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Review **


End file.
